Best I Ever Had
by BabyJaneMichaels
Summary: He loses the one he let go months before, now revisiting the past does he regret his decision to leave? Rated T because it's dealing with death.


**A/N: I haven't written anything in quite awhile and the idea for this story obviously came from State of Shocks song "Best I Ever Had". So please R&R.  
**

He drove down the street he had driven down so many times before. Her house came into view over the hill, it looked different from the last time he had seen it, the yard was unkept, the flower garden looked like it hadn't been tended to in years and the house looked unlived in. He parked his car in the same spot he always did months before, as he stepped out of his car the cold air hit him hard and sent a shiver up his spine as he closed his car door and made the familiar trip to her front door. He stopped at the front door and looked at the door handle, not sure what had made him go there. With a deep breath he turned the handle and pushed the door open, as he stepped in, all he could see was darkness. He shut the door behind him and tossed his keys onto the table in the front hallway and walked into the kitchen. There on the fridge door were pictures of her with her family and a grocery list. He smiled as he continued his walk through the oh so familiar house noticing she wasn't as organized as she used to be, letters tossed all over the tables, papers on the floor and dishes left uncleaned in the sink.

_Now I know I messed up bad  
You were the best I ever had  
I let you down in the worst way  
It hurts me every single day  
I'm dying to let you know_

He found himself back in the front hallway and looked at the staircase he had ascended so many times before. Before he could think he found himself outfront of her bedroom, he reached out for the handle and felt a shiver go up his spine that made him pull his hand away quickly. He shook it off and pushed the bedroom door open, and stood staring into the grey, black and white room he had at one time shared with her. Her bed was made, clothes folded neatly on the ironing board, the room was filled with her sweet perfume scent, that brought a smile to his face as he made his way over to the nightstand and picked up one of the many photos of them that were there. He broke down into tears seeing her glowing smile and sparkling eyes staring back at him in the photo.

_Now I'm here to say I'm sorry  
And ask for a second chance  
Cause when it all comes down to the end  
I could sure use a friend  
_

_**Flashback:**_

_It was her parent's 40th Wedding Anniversary, she had asked him to go with her so she wasn't the only single person in the room. He was her best friend, but hated being the pity date, but he agreed to go, besides her parents loved him. As they were dancing together on the dance floor, the feelings he didn't know he had for her came hitting him all at once so he pulled away from her and sat down at their table. She stood in the middle of the floor with a concerned look and walked over to him, taking his hand in hers she sat down in the chair opposite to him and looked him right in the eyes. Her warm, reassuring brown eyes were too much for him, he kissed her. As he broke the kiss she sat their with a smile on her face, and that's how it all started, a single kiss between friends had changed their lives forever._

_As the night progressed, the closer they became. Before the night was over, her sister had gotten the camera and had gotten them to take a picture infront of the water fountain her mother had insisted on having as a nice summer touch to the winter themed wedding, a concept noone really understood, but her mother was always out of the ordinary. Her sister showed them the picture taken on the digital camera, and she had looked back at him smiling a smile he had never seen before, her eyes sparkling, her smile making her whole face glow, that was the night he fell for her hard, and she had falled just as hard."_

_**End of Flashback.**_

He tossed the photo onto her bed and held his head in his hands and cried. Her phone began to ring, he just sat and looked at it until her voicemail had picked it up, playing the sound of her angelic voice saying she wasn't home, but would call them back later, how he loved the sound of her voice. He got up and made his way to her desk she had sat in writting her notes and lists of things she needed or wanted, people she needed to call back, and her planner with all her important dates she had kept, he gently slid his hand over the papers that littered her desk, which is when he noticed the piece of paper with his name on it. Curiousity getting the better of him, he picked it up and read the note silently to himself.

_Dear Shawn, _

_We said some pretty horrible things to each other tonight, and I'm sorry. I just hate watching you leave, I love you, and it seems like forever since the last time we've both been home together and I miss it. You promised we'd go look at those houses this weekend, and then you said you were leaving, it broke my heart, I thought this was our dream, not just mine. I take that you meant what you said, that you don't care whether I'm here or not when you get back, I've tried calling you and even left a few voicemails and haven't heard back, so if and when you get back, I won't be here, I'll be gone forever. I said I'd glady give my life if it meant I would never have to see you leave, so that's what I plan on doing. I love you Shawn Michaels, I always have, and probably always will. My death, is a small sacrifice for losing you._

_Love forever,  
__Trish xoxo_

He could still remember the look in her eyes as he packed his bags, the tears staining her cheeks as he walked away and the sound of her crying as he walked out of the front door for what would be the last time. Tears slid down his face as the memories came pouring back of that night.

_So many things I would take back  
You were the best I ever had  
I don't blame you for hating me  
I didn't mean to make you leave_

_**Flashback:**_

_They were talking about their future plans, moving into a better neighbourhood, getting married, starting a family and where they wanted their lives to go. She began going through house listings and he had gotten a call from Vince. He sighed and hung up the phone as he began to pack a weekend bag of clothes as she sat watching him leave as he always had before, but something was different about this time, she really didn't want him to go. He through his bags down and began to yell "You think I want to leaveTrish?! You better than anyone should understand how this buisness works!" Trish sat on the edge of their bed with tears streaming down her face "I do understand it, but you promised you wouldn't work anymore houseshows and you would be home with me on the weekends!" Shawn rolled his eyes and grabbed his bags and made his way out of the bedroom. Trish came running out behind him and grabbed his arm and with tears in her eyes bagged him to stay home, he had to admit he hated seeing her cry, but Vince wasn't giving him much of an option, he had to go. Without a word he pulled his arm away from her and continued down the stairs, she than said the words he would never forget "If you leave, don't expect me to be here when you get back." Shawn not much of one to take to threats, shot back "I don't care, you'd be doing me a favor" and left, slamming the door behind him, making Trish cringe and cry that he had chosen his career over her._

_**End of Flashback.**_

_You and I were living like a love song  
I feel so bad, I feel so bad that you're gone  
Now I know you're the only one that I want  
I want you back, I want you_

When their friends and family had found out about them splitting up, they were in disbelief. Everyone always said they had the 'story book' romance, a love that would go on forever and nothing could tear them apart, well, they found that one thing that tore them apart, and it was him.

_Now I'm here to say I'm sorry  
And ask for a second chance  
Cause when it all comes down to the end  
I could sure use a friend  
Now I'm here to say I'm sorry  
And ask for a second chance  
All I want to do is make it up to you  
Cause when it all comes down to the end  
You were the best I ever had  
_

Shawn took the note and put it in his pocket and walked over to her bed and reached under it and pulled out her keepsake box. He opened the lid and began taking out all the small things she had kept from their time together, movie ticket stubs, necklaces, bracelets, his favourite flavor lipgloss she wore on their dates, notes and photos. He pulled them all out and smiled at the photos of the better times between them. He glanced at the clock and realized he was going to be late. He put everything back in the box, slid it back under her bed and made his way out of her house and closed the front door behind him and left.

_We fell in love for a reason  
Now you're leaving  
And I just want you back  
So many things we believed in  
Now you're leaving and words won't bring you back  
I'll never let go of the heart I broke_

There he stood in the cold damp air with thousands of friends, family and fans as the Pastor read out her eulogy. The idea of Trish being gone had yet to hit him, but he knew that the moment it did, it would hit him hard. He stood motionless while everyone around him cried and shook their heads in disbelief, what had made her decide on taking her life was a mystery to almost everyone there, they all received the same phone call letting them know she had been found in her bathtub, she had taken painkillers and sleeping pills, cut her wrists, filled her tub and got in and waited for death to come, they knew it wasn't accidental, the pill bottles and razor were on the edge of the tub along with a note saying she was sorry that she just couldn't go on living a life in misery. Shawn glanced across the casket and saw her mother kneeling over her daughters casket, and her father with his hands on her shoulders telling her it would be alright as she shook her head telling him this wasn't happening, not to them.

_You and I were living like a love song  
Now I know you're the only one that I want  
I want you back, I want you  
__Now I'm here to say I'm sorry  
And ask for a second chance  
All I want to do is make it up to you  
Cause when it all comes down to the end  
I could sure use a friend  
Now I'm here to say I'm sorry  
And ask for a second chance  
All I want to do is make it up to you  
Cause when it all comes down to the end__You were the best I ever had_

As the service came to an end, he watched everyone head back to their cars as he looked back at what was now her final resting place, he made his way over and placed a single white rose upon her grave and blew a kiss into the air. As he walked back to his car, it hit him, she was gone, and was never coming back. He glanced over his shoulder one last time, as a single tear slid down his face he whispered "You were the best I ever had".

_I can't believe that I threw away all our dreams  
I can't believe now that you're gone how much you mean to me  
I feel so bad, I feel so bad  
You were the best I ever had  
I can't believe that I threw away all our dreams  
I can't believe now that you're gone how much you mean to me  
I feel so bad, I feel so bad  
You were,  
You were the best I ever had._


End file.
